(Well, he would, if he existed at all, that is...!)
(We eat his carrots, steal his eggs and squash them - take away his chocolate to give it to undeserving spoiled rotten brats...! Not to mention all the polluting of his natural habitat and environment overall that we are alleged to be guilty of, each and every single one of us...!) (And, no - by "habitat" I do not mean the shopping mall!)
So, if nothing else, we have to live in order to fight back here...!